Let's play philosophy and adhere to Aristotelian syllogisms: if you love music, and you love musicians, then you'll enjoy FUCK HIM, HE'S A DJ.
It's a compendium of talented musicians - not just DJs - who merely happen to be fi-fi-fine.
Combining the best of ear candy and eye candy, we'll be sending you into a diabetic coma.
Don’t you feel so cosmopolitan? So far, we’ve already surveyed the exotic beauty Australia, Sweden, New York, France, Canada, and Pittsburgh (perhaps the most foreign of all) have to offer. And we’re just getting started - next stop, Brazil, where gatos (hotties) are the country’s primary exports.
Coffee eyed Luciano Oliveira sports a well-cultivated 5 o’clock shadow on his sculpted jaw. Slim and wiry, he’s as adorable as his English speaking accent. Oliveira and his partner in beats, João Miguel, are Rio de Janeiro natives who combined their musical talents in 2005/6 under the name The Twelves (their name alludes to Oliveira and Miguel’s birthdays, which both happen to be - you guessed it - on the 12th of July, 1980).
The Twelves gained notoriety primarily due to their remix of M.I.A.’s “Boyz,” promptly followed by their remixes of Black Kid’s “I’m Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How To Dance” and The Virgins’ “Rich Girls.” They’ve often been hailed as the “South American Daft Punk,” a weighty (and spot on) comparison. Perhaps more importantly, The Twelve’s newfound fame has opened the door to various other electronic Brazilian artists, such as Boss in Drama, Database, Copacabana Club, Bonde do Rolê, and countless others.
Luciano and his hot as Ipanema, delicious as Guaraná self is currently playing venues in São Paulo and Rio de Janeiro; the duo tends to prefer playing in smaller, more intimate settings in order to connect with their audience. They are scheduled to play a couple of shows in Canada in May, and one in Venice Beach around the same time.
So, in the meanwhile, you can find their latest work, a two hour long (but a deliciously ecstatic two hours) live set for BBC’s Essential Mix program, complete with track list, here. You are so welcome. Or as the boys might say, “de nada!”
So how come I’ve never heard of this band or its wildly attractive drummer? Like, not at all on a billion other blogs or by word of mouth or Hype Machine or Pitchfork or RS or the radio (ha!). JUST KIDDING LOLZ. Besides Animal Collective and Phoenix, Grizzly Bear is one of the bands I am the most sick of have been enjoying to the point of overdose.
So, to not tax your attention span, let’s make this short and sweet. Trippingly acoustic, these four good ol’ American boys (Christopher Bear on drums and backing vocals; Edward Droste on vocals, guitar, and keyboards; Chris Taylor on bass and backing vocals; and Daniel Rossen on vocals, keyboards, and guitar) are one of Johnny Greenwood’s favorite bands. What started out as a solo project of Droste’s eventually blossomed into a lush, experimental band full of layers and, for lack of a better word, emotions. With the release of their third album, “Veckatimest” in May 2009, the boys hit it big.
At 27, drummer and vocalist Christopher Bear is one of Brooklyn’s finest (hardeehar). Bear’s entrancing drum work is what ostensibly ties the other musical elements together in a delicate, rapturous bow. Fingerbrushed 1920s waves and innocent eyed, the kid could have been a Greek pederast’s dream/a Hummel figurine - take your pick.
As an intro, “Two Weeks” and “Ready, Able” should be two tracks that will convince you to fall deeply in addiction with GB. To further delight you, I suggest Grizzly Bear’s cover of Hot Chip’s (also a favorite here at FHHAD) “Boy From School.”
They are playing mostly UK shows, with the notable exception of Coachella (April 16th, as if you didn’t know).
Oh la la. Now, it was difficult for me to decide which member of Phoenix to feature for several reasons, but as we all know, THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE. So forgive me Deck; though we’d love to wreck you, it’s leading man Thomas Mars, that skinny delight of vocal prowess, whom we’d rather cozy up to.
The French band’s incarnation as we know it (with Thomas Mars, Deck D’Arcy, Christian Mazzalai and Laurent Brancowitz) first appeared on the scene in 2000 with the release of “United” (fun fact: prior to Phoenix, Mars helmed a musical project named Darlin’ with Guy-Manuel de Homem-Cristo and Thomas Bangalter in the mid 90s). “Alphabetical”, “Live! Thirty Days Ago”, and “It’s Never Been Like That” soon followed, but it was 2009’s “Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix” that catapulted Phoenix into our iPods and Grammy ballots.
(Is it still considered selling out when you’ve sold the rights to “1901” for a car commercial? And a Cadillac car commercial at that? Gotta get that paper, mayne.)
The band’s poppy, upbeat style potently combined with Mars’ adorable French accent results in an equation akin to C12H22O11 - sugar, baby. Their music makes you feel as good as ingesting 10 Pixie sticks straight up, but without the sugar crash (and honestly, I think deciphering the true lyrics to their songs is half the fun; for the longest time, “Do let do let do let jugulate do let do let do” sounded incredibly like “too late, too late, too late, chocolate, too late, too late” from the song “Lisztomania”).
Willowy and shaggy-haired, Mars reminds me of that quiet boy in elementary school who always wore oversized sweaters, corduroy pants, and beat-up shoes and smelled kind of funny. Though you’d never have admitted it back then because you were too busy making fun of him with your catty friends, you wanted to sit under a tree and k-i-s-s him. Too late now, chocolate.
Phoenix is on a touring roll, after they finish their dates in Japan, Australia, Europe, and Coachella follow.
By the way, if our screenplay doesn’t get picked up by Sofia Coppola, you know now why.
Per the request of a lovely lady, today we discuss Mark McGrath (we all have our blips/guilty guilty pleasures). It’s an interesting request, since the last I heard of Mark McGrath, he was hosting one of those trashy gossip shows on TV and a bunch of VH1 shit. And, according to Wiki, was the host to not merely one but two Pussycat Dolls reality shows. Classy stuff.
But, admittedly, Mark was cute back in the “There’s a Halo hanging on the corner of my girlfriend’s four post bed” days; those dimples of his were as deep as the Grand Canyon. Totally tattooed, blue eyed and with finely chiseled features, he’s still considerably attractive for a man in his forties (but someone has got to limit his access to the good stuff - peroxide. That weird bleach blond surfer thing has been, thankfully, dead for nearly a decade, but he insists on bringing it out every so often. I bet he still uses AOL. He just seems slightly technologically retarded and/or suspended in time to me, in an age when I dated skater boys with Billabong everything and MSN was God). But really, he seems like a genuinely nice guy.
Now, if you’ve been holding a torch (in this case, a Light) for Mark since all those years, then you might be in luck at getting into his groove. 41 year old Mark has recently reunited with Sugar Ray and released “Music for Cougars” this summer (I had really no idea, therefore can’t recommend much). Sugar Ray just finished up touring in the US in late September, so you’re going to have to wait a while to indulge live in their beachy, sugary sounds. Track them down at your own convenience.
Follow the (finely aged like a vintage wine) fineness
I’ll be the first to admit that, as a good shiksa, I am inevitably attracted to cute, young Jewish men. David Macklovitch, aka Dave 1 from Chromeo, is one of those men. Intelligent and soft-spoken, Dave’s (still?) working on his PhD (in French Lit) from Columbia; but his adorable smile and self-deprecating humor alone are worth the conversion to Judaism. Tall, lanky, and endearingly nerdy, Dave is surprisingly coquettish with the ladies and unfailingly polite and attentive to his fans.
I’ve loved Chromeo for quite some time now, and just when I think they’ve composed themselves into a corner and have nothing new to offer, they dish out a great new track (like “Night by Night”, or their cover of “I Can’t Tell You Why” and remix of “The Kids Don’t Stand A Chance”). They’ve evolved greatly from their overly-funked up sophomoric tracks into a sexual, synth-smoothness. The beats are tighter, the lyrics just as dorky-cool-seductive, and Dave’s vocal prowess continues to be a source of titillation.
Chromeo is currently on their world tour; their last date in the US is on October 30th, but they’ll be jamming all over Europe for the next few weeks. They’ve also released their DJ Kicks album, which is worth a listen. And ladies, if you can catch Dave doing a solo DJ set, don’t think twice, just go - and here’s a little tip you’ll thank me for later: buy the man a gin & tonic or Pilsner Urquell. Seduction is yours.
You know that feeling you get when you’ve just met someone, and even though they haven’t even opened their mouth, you are inexplicably attracted to them? That whole “we-just-met-but-omg-I-can’t believe-how-much-we-have-in-common-we-are-meant-to-be-let’s-make-babies-right-now” feeling of infatuation? No? Just me? Well, I revel in that feeling and even though I’ve only started listening to (Pretty) Girls & Lasers, I do believe I am in love (and I’ve even forgiven them for their grammatical mistakes on their MySpace. It’s true love).
New York based Jack McCloy and Levi McDonough make up this DJ duo whose remixes are bouncy and delicious. Their work presents a lighter side of electro sprinkled with indie goodness, and are thoroughly enjoyable - there’s no way you won’t “get happy” listening to them. And I do like their name - (Pretty) Girls & Lasers pinpoints the exact elements of electro music, or at least vital components for its success.
And ah, Levi is a golden field of crisp wheat you want to pick - tall, blonde, blue-eyed, and gorgeous (did that metaphor even make sense?) He’s like a rugged mountain doused in sunlight and embraced by a running river (It’s just not going to happen today, just go back and look at the picture. Yum).
I’ve listened to their 10 Minute Mixes and Summer 2009 Mix (Part One and Part Two) on repeat and suggest you do as well. They’ve only recently started to make a furor in the music scene, but you can catch them monthly at Arlo & Esme (42 E. 1st St.) and drool over that field of wheat/rugged mountain known as Levi. And let me know if you don’t leave infatuated.
